Family & Safety

Parental responsibilities mean making important decisions for a child, such as education, healthcare, and religious upbringing, as well as day-to-day care - and spending time with them. This used to be called "custody," but that term is no longer used in Illinois.  Parental responsibilities can be allocated between each parent, dividing up which parents make which decisions about the child.  For example, one parent might be allowed to make all the day-to-day decisions about the child, such as choosing after-school activities and making decisions about when to go to the doctor. The other parent may make decisions about religious education.

The court usually decides who gets parental responsibilities when married parents get a divorce. If the parents were never married, parental responsibilities are decided when:

• The court needs to decide if a person is a legal parent of a child (this is called parentage); or 
• One of the parents asks for child support or parenting time with the child.

The parents may agree, or the court may order that a child spend more time with one parent than the other.  That parent is in charge of day-to-day care for the child. This includes:

• Feeding the child,
• Getting the child up and off to school,
• Taking care of the child when the child is sick,
• Making sure the child is clean and dressed,
• Getting the child to activities,
• Playing with the child,
• Getting the child to medical appointments,
• Punishing the child, if necessary,
• Making sure the child does chores, and
• Arranging for someone to watch the child.

When the child is with the other parent, that parent will assume these day-to-day decisions.

What are parental responsibilities?

There are two types of parental responsibilities: decision-making power and parenting time.

Making decisions

One type of parental responsibility is the power to make decisions about how to raise a child. Judges and lawyers call this "significant decision-making responsibility." This includes the areas of education, healthcare, after-school activities, and religion.

[no-lexicon]Parenting time[/no-lexicon]

Parenting time is the time a child spends with a parent. The judge usually gives both parents some parenting time, but time is not always equal.

Usually, the child lives mostly with one parent and has regular contact with the other parent (this used to be called "visitation").

If a grandparent, great-grandparent, brother or sister, or step-parent wants to spend time with a child, this is still called visitation, and other rules apply.  

Who can get parental responsibilities for a child?

Usually, only the child's parents can ask for parental responsibilities. If you are unsure whether you are a child's legal parent, see our article on Establishing parentage by going to court. 

Someone who is not a parent of a child may ask for parental responsibilities in special cases, like when the parent leaves the child in someone else's care for good.

If a step-parent wants to ask for parental responsibilities, they must prove:

• The parent with more parenting time has died or is unable to care for the child, and the step-parent is already caring for the child,
• The child wants to live with the step-parent, and
• It is in the best interests of the child to live with the step-parent.

Right of first refusal

If the court has given both parents parenting time, the judge may order a "right of first refusal" (ROFR) to one or both parents to provide childcare during the other parent’s normal parenting time. This means that if the parent plans to leave the child with another child-care provider for a significant amount of time, they must offer the other parent the chance to care for the child during that time. 

The parents can agree to a ROFR together. If they do not have an agreement in place, the judge can decide:

• The amount of alternate childcare time before ROFR applies (for example, a full day, overnight, a weekend, etc.),
• The types of situations where ROFR applies,
• How the other parent will be notified,
• How transportation will be handled, and
• Any other issues to best protect the children.

If a parent no longer has parental responsibilities or parenting time for any reason, then the ROFR would also end automatically.