Court & Hearings

Rae Kyritsi is the Programs Director for the Center for Conflict Resolutions. She is also an adjunct professor at Loyola University Chicago School of Law. 

Note: This video is only available in English. 

Before the Negotiation 

Make time to prepare 

You’re in a situation that requires negotiation. You’ve likely been thinking about it a lot. Take time to prepare before you meet with the other person. This can help focus the negotiation and help you get a good resolution.  

Ask yourself, what’s most important to me? And why? 

You are likely to come to the negotiation knowing what you want. However, it’s helpful to think about it in detail. For example, if you want money from the other person ask yourself:

• What does the money represent? 
• What does it mean to you?

Money might be a way to: 

• Hold the other person accountable,  
• Pay your mortgage, 
• Create a sense of fairness, or
• Fix your car.

By identifying what the money means to you, you can be thoughtful about other offers that might settle the dispute. For example, you may want money so that you can have your car repaired. If the other person is a mechanic, they can fix your car for free. That gets you the solution you want even though it might not be an exchange of money. 

Think about settlement

Identify a range of settlement that might work for you. 

Examples

You are willing to pay past due rent but cannot afford to pay the total amount. Identify what amount you can afford and when you can pay it. 

If your tenant owes you 3 months rent, you may be willing to accept 2 months rent to get things resolved. 

Determine the most you can pay or the least you’d accept in advance of the negotiation. This will help you determine whether you can accept an offer during the conversation. 

Come prepared to put an offer on the table to start the conversation. 

Think about some other outcomes that might work for you. Could you mow the lawn for a discount on rent? Could you accept a payment plan over 6 months, if you can get paid a higher amount? 

If the issues cannot be resolved in negotiation, what are the possible outcomes for you? During the negotiation, keep these in mind. Are the outcomes better or worse than any offer you’re hearing from the other person? 

During the Negotiation 

Engage with the other person 

Try to make the conversation about solving the problem together. 

Let the other person know what you are hoping to get from the negotiation.

Ask questions to determine what is most important to the other person. You can use this information to create more ideas for settlement. 

Make sure you understand what they are looking for in a settlement.

Use strategies to stay calm and engaged 

It’s common to have strong emotions during a negotiation. Either you or the other person might have an emotional response during the negotiation. If emotions are getting in the way, consider taking a short break from the conversation. Sometimes taking a few breaths or counting down from 10 can help you stay calm.

Make sure your plan is realistic 

If you’re able to come up with a plan to resolve your conflict, take the time to negotiate the details. Make sure they work for you. 

A realistic agreement will set you up for success. That might mean putting in place a payment plan instead of receiving payment in a lump sum. However, it will make it more likely that the amount will be paid in full. 

You want a plan that is workable and realistic for both of you. 

If you discover part of your plan will not work, take the time to explore other options for resolving it. 

Create clear expectations 

If you’re able to come to an agreement, think about all the details that will be important.

• How will payments be made?
• When?
• In what form?

If there’s a court case, someone might need to fill out court paperwork. Will you need an additional court date to make sure the terms have been completed? 

Sometimes things don’t go as planned. If something changes for one of you after the negotiation, put in place a plan for how to communicate. 

Talk about all these expectations during the negotiation to ensure you’re both able to see the plan through. 

After the negotiation 

Complete your obligations 

Make sure you complete everything you have agreed to do in the plan.

Communicate 

If you’re unable to meet your obligations, contact the other party immediately. See if you can make a new plan. 

General Reminders 

You can always walk away from a negotiation, if you feel like you cannot advocate for yourself or feel unsafe. 

You should never sign a document that you do not understand or terms you do not agree with. 

There are resources to help you negotiate. Mediators can be a good resource. They help facilitate the conversation if you are unable to successfully negotiate.