Family & Safety

Domestic violence is when one family or household member abuses another family or household member. It can also be known as domestic abuse, family violence, dating violence, or intimate partner violence.

Domestic violence can include: 

• Physical abuse (pushing, hitting, forced sex, physical intimidation, or not allowing someone to leave);
• Emotional abuse (making humiliating remarks, yelling, name-calling, or not responding to your words);
• Financial abuse (controlling bank account access, limiting access to money, preventing employment, stealing money, controlling spending);
• Gender violence (abuse based on actual or perceived gender);
• Harassment (disturbing someone at their job or their school, repeatedly telephoning, following or watching someone, preventing someone from seeing their family or friends, or threatening to hurt someone);
• Making a child or other person watch abuse;
• Forcing someone to do something they don't want to do;
• Neglecting necessary care for a child or a stepchild;
• Denying a person with a disability access to needed care;
• Invading privacy (tracking phone GPS, checking phones, reading personal emails, controlling bank account access, or otherwise controlling communication); and
• Taking actions that would reasonably cause emotional distress, such as rationing food or depriving the survivor of sleep.

Yes. Economic abuse can be considered domestic violence.  Also called financial abuse, it is when the abuser restricts and controls the money and economic resources of the survivor. This may include food, clothes, transportation, career, or education. Examples include:

• Controlling how and when money is spent,
• Making the survivor ask for money or providing an allowance,
• Preventing the survivor from getting an education or a job,
• Not allowing them to get their benefits,
• Having sole control of the bank account,
• Making sure all economic assets are in their name,
• Keeping shared financial information secret,
• Ruining the survivor’s credit,
• Providing money for sexual activity, or
• Controlling access to the survivor’s phone or vehicle.

Yes, emotional or mental abuse can be considered domestic violence. It is when the abuser’s behaviors, words, or conduct intimidate or cause psychological distress to the survivor. Examples include:

• Screaming or yelling,
• Calling the survivor insulting names,
• Threatening to hurt themselves, the survivor, animals, or others,
• Humiliating, shaming, or criticizing,
• Telling the survivor what to wear or eat,
• Questioning the survivor’s memory of events, or denying that an event happened, or
• Making the survivor’s needs or feelings seem unimportant.

For immediate help, domestic violence survivors can:

• Call 911,
• Call law enforcement for assistance, or
• Call a domestic violence hotline
  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 or text START to 88788.
  • The Illinois Domestic Violence Hotline at 877-863-6338 (877-TO END DV) or text.
  • Your local domestic violence victim service agency in the directory maintained by the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
• Call Love is Respect's 24 hour hotline at (866) 331-9474 for support and adovcacy for teens and young adults. You can also text LOVEIS to 22522 or chat online.
• Contact the Illinois 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or use chat.
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255 for English, (800) 628-9454 for Spanish, or (800) 799-4889 for Deaf & Hard of Hearing. You can also text HOME to 741741 (English). You can reach out online by completing a survey to be connected with a counselor.
• Call The Trevor Project at (866) 488-7386 to talk to crisis counselors who understand the challenges the LGBTQIA+ communities face. You can also text START to 678-678 or chat.

Before, during, or after a divorce case, a survivor may file for an Order of Protection. The survivor may ask the judge for things such as exclusive possession of a marital home by asking the abuser to leave the home, supervised visitation, or temporary child support. A divorce court can also modify an Order of Protection as part of a dissolution of marriage or parentage proceeding.

In determining how to divide property and debt, a court will look to divide the property and debt fairly and equitably between the spouses. A court may consider a history of domestic violence in making these decisions.  For example, the court may take into consideration if the survivor took on debt as a result of the abuse when dividing debt.

The court may also consider domestic violence when determining parenting time and decision-making. In determining how to allocate parenting time and decision-making authority for a child under the age of 18, the court will consider the child’s “best interests.” A history of domestic violence may impact that determination. However, a history of domestic violence does not mean that “custody” will specifically be allocated to one parent or the other.

Additionally, in Illinois, an Order of Protection will be “consolidated” or combined into the divorce case if a divorce is filed while the Order of Protection is pending. That way, the judge who will evaluate issues for the divorce can evaluate issues for the protection order as well.

A domestic violence survivor may want to get a lawyer or a domestic violence advocate organization to help them navigate the legal process, including obtaining an Order of Protection and safety planning.

You can use Get Legal Help to find a free legal aid organization or a private lawyer near you. You can also read the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault’s Illinois Legal Aid Resources for Sexual and Domestic Violence Survivors and the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence’s domestic violence victim service agency directory.